i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
