Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Randomize
