so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
false alarm. still invincible.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
