i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
