i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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