My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
