Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My balls are so social today.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
