would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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