Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
