What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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