i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
there is glitter all over my balls
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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