Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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