this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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