Ambien. No doubt about it.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
