We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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