Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
