Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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