I'm eating all of the evidence.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
