so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
