ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
