Just cropdusted the office
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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