Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Im part way to drunk.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
