Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
