I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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