So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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