i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
