The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why are your pants in the freezer?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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