Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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