it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
