I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
