Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
