Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
