Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
