Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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