Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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