I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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