Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
