You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
