Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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