You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
