Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize