You're completely useless in the revolution.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
