We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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