her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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