Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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