Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
In America we eat man semen.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We left the knife in your bed.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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