This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
