Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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