Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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