i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize