he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
