he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
