They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
