what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
