Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
