Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
