dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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