No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize