K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
