yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
