i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize