Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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