just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
