she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
